Wishing upon an ideal partner
If we think about it, there is nothing inherently scary or wrong in being single. Yet, all of us, at least most of us, associate happiness with being in a couple. It is natural and instilled in us since birth by culture, society, state, religion and, finally, nature. We desire to find love and share our life with a dear person.
The journey to such happiness is often long, complicated and full of disappointment.
How do you find your love?
The answer to this question lies deep inside of us. To find something, we should at first identify what is it that we are looking for. And then give ourselves an honest answer, which may not be the easiest thing to do. And not only because we feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit to our feelings. Often it is because we haven't even tried untangling the web of parental affirmations, stereotypes, book and film images, our girlfriends' fantasies and complexes to find the answer to the question – what do we really want from love? We, not our mother who repeatedly told us that we should get married by 25. We, not a friend, who says that all men want only one thing. We, not a set stereotypes, which books and movies impose on us. We, not the morals cultivated in us since childhood. Do you want your partner to maintain you? To love your eternal soul or to get crazy about your body? To throw jealous fits or to respect your boundaries? To be by your side each moment of the day or to give you enough space? To be against your career or to support you? There are no "wrong" or "embarrassing" answers to these questions. Dreaming of a husband who will take you to the Maldives is no better or worse than wanting a husband who will talk over Kafka with you. What is most important is to be extremely honest with yourself and always ask yourself again – is this what I really want, or do I think it is "right" to want it?
Imagine your partner in minuscule details. What does he or she eat? What does he or she drink and how much drink, too? Does he or she hate beer or is it an integral part of Saturday’s night? Is he or she sporty? Does he or she like to have a long sleep on Sundays? Where does he or she work and how much money makes? Where does he or she live? What flaws does he or she have?
It is an essential question – there are no ideal people and each strong feature is accompanied with a downside. Your husband makes a lot because he works hard and scarcely spends time at home? Or is he a powerful person but you clueless how and with whom he spends his time? Ask yourself where your boundaries lie – what are you capable to put up with?
When the objective is identified as clearly as possible, it is time to evaluate your capabilities. Where you are, who you are and how you can get where you'd like to. This is where Tarot becomes an invaluable advisor, as, let's be honest, most of us have a really subjective view of ourselves. We can exaggerate our strengths in one sphere while completely disregarding our talents and potential in a different sphere. Cards help us get a more detached view "from an outside perspective", reveal our hidden potential and, also, understand what our archetype is and what kind of partner is indeed compatible with us.
Having identified the start and finish of our journey to the dream, we, of course, do not get an intact route, yet we can see the aim more clearly and can formulate certain assumptions on where and how it can be found. If we ask the right questions, the search area is narrowed down and we can work out several outcomes and solutions that can be taken during that journey.
Tarot definitely cannot take this journey instead of you – you are in charge of it.